Watch this music video please. I’ll wait….

http://www.kanyewest.com/?content=video_cant_tell_alt

Was that some crazy fun or what!?!?! Best part is, that’s the real official video for that song! Kanye West may be a marginally insane megalomaniac but you can’t say he doesn’t have a sense of humor (if not about himself) or originality. As for this Zach character, I’ve seen his stand up (or sit down at piano) act and he’s really funny. I just wish he wouldn’t spit in his beard so much! Yuck!

I think you should watch the video again now. It’s better the 2nd time.  

Brothers and sisters of the 80’s; Your innocent childhood memories are about to be, once again, defiled by the flash and the crass of the 21^st century. I encourage you to take the time this week to remember the best of times that were also the worst of times but only because they weren’t yet these times, and prepare for Sunday’s A&E premier of The Two Coreys, which certainly signifies the end of times.  Did you know that chapter one of the Dickens classic is titled “Recalled To Life”? I did not remember this from 9^th grade either but I do remember Dream A Little Dream, the first post Lost Boys tete a Bop Magazine tete. I mention this phrase; “Recalled to Life” because we can assume that this is the goal of The Two Coreys, to resurrect careers destroyed by time, drugs and blubber(ing).

From what I gather it’s about Haim (the cute one) and Feldman (the other one) living in a house together with Feldman’s wife. Folks, this show promises to be a white-hot mess of Lohanian proportions! It’s been labeled as “semi-reality” which means (blissfully) the producers aren’t trying to fool us into thinking that the show is anything other a load of scripted bullshit. There are staged fights, temper tantrums, wacky situations and keenly edited uncomfortable silences. Don’t doubt my authority on this point; I have never seen this show but I ALREADY KNOW. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

I saw Feldman on The Surreal Life and he was icky, icky, icky! He was not my “Mouth” of old. I used to have a real Goonie sized crush on the little fella. He was funny! He was a genuinely funny, cool kid. And Haim had me by the heartstrings with his performance as that little nerdy freak in Lucas. And then, when the Lost Boys came out, I was doubly crushed (the best of crushed, not the worst of crushed, like I’ll be on Sunday when I inevitably watch this piece of crap). Both fellas should have quit the moment their second nut dropped. Once the acne hit, it was all over for me. And it should have been the end of both of their careers. In a perfect world, hookers and blow would not have robbed these two of their life-savings and they could have retired from the “biz” and become business men or race car drivers or zoo keepers or something. But alas, Hollywood, she is a seductive mistress and she is also one tacky bitch! 

So my friends, this Sunday, if you look into the night sky (10Pm EST) you might catch a glimpse of not one but TWO falling stars. And as their dignity is shuffled from their mortal coils, say a little prayer for Dakota Fanning.

AND.. if you must…

http://www.dailymotion.com/us/video/x2kqxf_the-two-coreys-fight_shortfilms

I was just reminded of a crazy dream I had the other night. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.

The other night I dreamt that me and my boyfriend were at an improv show. It was outside in like an amphitheater or something but way smaller. The host picked Tyler to participate in a sketch in which he was wrestling Amy Pohler to the ground. She was wearing a really tiny black dress and she yelled “I wish I’d worn underwear today!”.

I was in the audience and thought of a really, really funny joke to say but I waited a beat too long to stand up and yell it. But I stood up and told it anyway. The joke, in my dream, was REALLY FUNNY. It was something like “Don’t worry, its daylight savings time, it doesn’t matter if the curtains are pulled over the windows!” In the dream this joke was hilarious! I mean it! It was funny because I think I was thinking about a ladies “vulva” as the curtains, as in meat curtains (SORRY AMY!)

 and the window I guess would be the underwear, covering the curtains. Needless to say the joke fell flat, but NOT because it wasn’t funny or didn’t make any sense (which, in retrospect I know to be the case) but because I waited too long to deliver it. The host said as much. He yelled. “That joke was ill-timed!”. I was, in the dream, mortified but also outraged that nobody laughed. I woke my boyfriend up in the middle of the night and tried to tell him the joke to see if it was just me or if the joke really didn’t make any sense. Imagine getting woken up from a dead sleep to here this. Poor baby, he was VERY CONFUSED!

 PS My friend Monica had an improv joke THE SAME NIGHT. Only hers was just quick. They were going to a comedy club and the marquee read IMPROVE TONIGHT.

Just a quick update on the Woodminster EXPERIENCE! Before the show started we wondered it the production would be “blind casted”. This means that race is not factored in to the casting decisions, and this being the Bay Area and all, we half expected it. But it’s kind of a questionable practice for West Side Story, as so much of the plot is race driven. Puerto Ricans V Polacks and all. Well they did cast by race, the Shark, the “PR” gang was played almost exclusively by … ASAINS!! (with one brother thrown in for good measure). The Jets were all played by white fellows but they were a bit stiff. During some of their dance numbers I couldn’t help but think of the Thriller video. Throughout the entire preformance I’m thinking this is more a turf war between the Yakuza and a gang of goofy zombies. The good: Maria was stunning and her voice was lovely, really lovely. Unfortunately, Tony was paunchy and off key.

All in all, I had great time with the oldies watching an American classic unfold under the stars on a chilly summer evening. Thank you Woodminster Players! I’ll take an evening with you over an evening of “Hey Paula” any day.

Toooooonight, tonight…..I’m super stoked tonight. Tonight I have tickets to the Woodminster Amphitheater production of West Side Story! As a board certified (don’t doubt this, there is a board, busy certifying these sort of things) musical theater geek, I have been looking forward to this evening of song and dance for weeks! And thanks to the folks with showbiz in their blood, and a song in their heart, I get the opportunity to geek out on this kind of thing several times a year. In the East Bay alone, there are community theaters in Alameda, Oakland, Richmond, El Cerrito,  Pinole and probably every other hamlet, township or suburb you can think of. I bet that any month of the year one could find a production of  Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat (a perennial favorite) playing somewhere within  Oklahoma! yodeling distance. For example, this week,  it’s West Side Story in Oakland,  Meet Me in Saint Louis in El Cerrito, Into The Woods in Walnut Creek and Suddenly Last Summer (Tennessee Williams is also a fav)  in San Leandro.

My experience has been that production values, professionalism and talent vary greatly by theater but one thing remains the same, the PASSION. These people are passionate about what they are doing. The nebbish account by day becomes a sizzling Latin lover by night. The AC transit driver sheds her surly dispoition as her voice rings high above the rafters, fulfilling something deep inside untouched in the plebeian world. I speculate of course. But as a performer myself, I understand the transformative thrill of the stage. I’m also sure that being part of a community of like minded “show people” is a big draw as well. In the theater it’s drama! It’s pizazz! It’s Jazz hands and prat falls and melodramatic monologues in southern accents. It’s corsets and fishnets and fake smoking and wigs!

I encourage everybody to experience the thrill and drama at least once this year. Community theater is awesome because its a great show put on by people like your weird neighbor and the gay kid in high school and your coworker’s Aunt and your mechanic and the lady who makes your sandwich. The performances may not be perfect and you probably wont discover  Broadway’s next “it” person but you will have a great time sitting in the audience with all the old ladies and enjoying a fabulous night at the theater! And right in your own back yard!

This is my first ever posting. Hurried and amateurish, to be sure. I have to pee and my ride is waiting downstairs. Its Monica and I asked her to wait in the spot where she looks like a weird Asian man.